What is My Mom and The Girl and how did it come to be?
My Mom and The Girl, from Go Girl Media, is a short film based on my mother, Norma, exquisitely portrayed by 5-time Emmy award-winning Valerie Harper in her final performance. The film is a funny, poignant, and rich story of unlikely friendships and wisdom from a woman living her best life despite Alzheimer’s. While Alzheimer’s continued to relentlessly rob her of her precious memories, my mother proved it powerless when it came to her soul.
The story centers on a chance meeting one evening on the streets of East LA. The encounter proves to have a profoundly positive effect on 3 disparate women when a young transgender person’s despair disenfranchises the tight grip Alzheimer’s has on a woman, making way for her fearless heart and sardonic humor to reappear. Representation matters, not just to validate the experiences of so many who are living with the effects of dementia, but to change the cultural narrative of a disease often ignored, simplified, or shown in a negative light.
The film also reveals how much better life was, for my mother and for me, once I learned to lean into my mother’s world, instead of trying to pull her back into mine. My Mom and The Girl began as a small film with a big mission: to change the conversation about Alzheimer’s.
What inspired you to grapple with dementia in your art?
Alzheimer’s is a stealthy disease. Like the villain in a horror film, Alzheimer’s makes its presence known long before anyone is aware. But, we brush it off with oh-so-logical excuses. “Everybody forgets!” (That’s true.) “She’s always been forgetful.” (She has.) “I’m just juggling a lot right.” (You are.) But deep down, we know this time is different.
We, or someone we love, have fallen prey to a relentless monster. And although our initial instinct is to run or fight like hell, sooner or later we are forced to accept the fact that we are not going to defeat this enemy.
So, what can we do? Turns out… a lot. As a filmmaker, I set out to share a story that focused on what we can control. One that showcased love, while embracing every new normal like we do a new friend—with grace. From that, My Mom and The Girl was born!
How has working on dementia-related art changed you?
Dementia has had a powerful effect on my work and my perspective on aging. Working within the caregiving community has become my life’s purpose. In fact, I have launched the podcast, Love Conquers Alz, shortly after the release of the film to keep the positive conversation going.
I’m on a mission to dismantle ageism and ableism from the collective consciousness. Through my lens, I aim to challenge stereotypes, celebrate diversity, and foster empathy. I’m currently finishing a documentary called No Country for Old People that chronicles the last 6 months of my mother’s life in a nursing home. The film is a cautionary tale and a public rally for change.
How has My Mom and The Girl been received?
My Mom and The Girl has received so much love—from festivals, caregivers, experts, academics, and those living with dementia all around the world. It is Oscar-qualified, a PBS Fine Cuts winner, an American Pavilion Cannes winner, and recognized by the USC Media Institute for Social Change Project. It has been incredibly rewarding. I am often asked to speak at events, MC’d the Alzheimer’s Walk, been the face of many Alzheimer’s campaigns, and been honored by the academic community who have embraced my film. Additionally, Love Conquers Alz has received Best Podcast 2020 by the New Media Film Festival and was named #1 Dementia Podcast 2024 by Goodpods.
This work is dedicated to: My mother, and as you will see in the film, “This film is dedicated to the caregiver who stands lovingly beside the misunderstood and discarded…and hopefully inspires us to do the same.”
Find more on My Mom and The Girl on its website and Facebook; more from Susie Singer Carter on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, and YouTube; and the Love Conquers Alz podcast on Instagram and Facebook.
