What is Remembering When I Used to Remember and how did it come to be?
Remembering When I Used to Remember is a short play that centers around a gay married couple as they prepare to renew their vows at the beach in Provincetown. As memories are lost and found and past secrets resurface, Remembering When I Used to Remember is a humorous and heartwarming story of love’s endurance in the face of dementia, time and imperfection.
The play was written in 2016 and celebrated its world premiere as part of the inaugural Queer Voices Festival produced by Boston Theater Company at Boston Center for the Arts. I am hopeful that anyone (especially caregivers) who have people in their lives who suffer from dementia-related challenges will find this play relatable and cathartic, but also hopeful even when facing issues that are challenging and often seem hopeless.
As Tuck, who is living with dementia, asks in the play, “What are we without our memories?” to which his husband, Marty, replies, “I’ll remember for the both of us.”
What initially inspired you to grapple with dementia?
I was inspired to write this play when my cousin suffered a brain injury and, as a result, suffered short-term memory loss. Like many, I’ve lost one of my great aunts to advancing Alzheimer’s disease, and several people in my close sphere are living with dementia.
How has working on dementia-related art changed you?
All of my work as a creative over the years has often grappled with those seen as “other,” and that includes those with disabilities, as my brother had Down syndrome and autism.
It seemed a natural progression to include dementia as a subject in my creative work as I have begun to see it and face it in real time with real people in my life. As an aging man myself, I have come to understand that aging well is not only about exercising my body but my mind and I’ve begun to incorporate challenges to my brain throughout my day.
Working on this play reminds me how fleeting time is and that memories are so important in our identity. It reminds me of why my late mother was always saying that photographs are so important — they are a visual aid to help us remember.
How has Remembering When I Used to Remember been received?
Audience members in Boston (2024) were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. People were able to laugh at the humor inherent in the play but also cried at the ultimate understanding that losing one’s memories and ability to think clearly is devastating to both the patient, their family members and caregivers.
A dear friend whose husband recently passed after his battle with Alzheimer’s disease told me that he felt the play was poignant and delightful. It pleases me that audience members can find delight even with such a serious topic.
For more from Patrick Riviere visit his website. Remembering When I Used to Remember will be presented as part of a short play festival More Little Devils running at three venues, in Brewster, MA; Orleans, MA, and Provincetown, MA, in March and April. For more information about this event, visit the Helltown Players website.
